1. smarts. there are so many different types of intelligences, and i really love folks who are brilliant in many ways - emotionally, intellectually, interpersonally, arts-wise, cooking-wise, etc.
2. energy. what someone brings to a conversation or to a space is the most important factor. i am really concerned with what folks put out into the universe and how they put it out there. i generally love friendly but quiet folks.
3. politics. someone who is thoughtful and intentional with how they live their life is so, so attractive. this doesn’t mean i’m only into vegan anti-marriage prison abolitionists. i just want someone who is honest, real, and critical about the world around themselves.
4. wit. listen, y’all. quippy, sarcastic assholes are beautiful. i adore subtle shade and dark humor, so give it to me.
5. back rubs. if we’re going to do life together, you will be asked for all of the back rubs. not massages, but like back rubs, as in just lying on the bed and rubbing my back. that is all i want.
6. mutual care. giving and creating space, which supporting one another requires mutual care that’s always concerned with both the self and the relationship. really taking care of one another, which also means taking care of oneself, is perhaps the central aspect of any relationship. if relationships aren’t healing and restorative, they why be in one?
7. sass. also, i just want someone who will see all my fabulousness when i wake up on a saturday morning, pre-coffee and will say this:
….why are you asking? eh eh eh?